Tuesday, October 31, 2006

im very upset right now
and confused
gahh
yest i didnt eat anth at all
only drank half a bottle of mineral water
and a cup of milo without milk
shucks, this sucks. hah, it rhymes
its driving me insane now
babybabybaby

APPLES!
12:30 AM

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I feel like blogging much today. Hmm. Dunno why.
Went to sch kinda late today. Ok not late, I reached the class at 7. but lately, I've been going to sch real early (6.50am!) since there's no reason to take the late trains now... so yea, feel its kinda late
Anyways, did a lot of stuff in the morn. Oh, on the way to sch, I just rmb I need a new purse, well since I lost the other one. (which I refused to put a post on for that super bad luck day)
Then assembly, blabla. Had math first thing in the morn. Haiyah. I still don't understand the thingy. And im feeling terribly confused and upset! =(
Pe had free period, so latha played the class video she made for us. Dang sweet okay. Before that, I was talking to sum bout how I don't feel anth bout separating from our beloved ones. (call me heartless, I didn't even cry when I failed my math paper badly =/ )
Then after watching the video, I just somehow felt touched, appreciate everything more now. Then had csp 'briefing'. Ms tan gave us this lovely pencil. The words on it are like very meaningful, its chi idioms. Diff ppl get diff ones. Anyways, I intend to give it to someone else, since I think that person needs more luck than me right now *prays to god*
Recess, I got angry with DISGUSTING GIRLSSSSSSSSSS ( I insist there must be 10 S!) yea, so disgusting I got super mad during recess I began slamming everything. Oops. Sorry everyone. Really sorry yea, I got so mad, and banged my plate on the table. Was being silly. Sorry to aliffah too! the chilli splashed on her blouse ok! Just because of my failure to control my anger =/. Really sorry. =( I shall make it up back someday, yes yes I will. Ahah.
Then did nth much, ms tan came in to give report books and such. Glad to hear that our and class and s1 are the only two classes in which everyone got 55% and above! Congrats to everyone! I can see everyone put in effort for this exam. =) and our class standard is very high, you will know if you're one of us la. =p
Afters, played games. Damnit funny! Dilly and paddy are natural entertainers pls. hehh. Played murderer, blow wind blow, a bit of truth or dare and the polar bear game or smth! Nice nice! Hanna saboed me lor =/
Ohoh. Then me and jinglu had a little chat bout PRINCESS HOURS! =DD
Hahaha. Realized that a lot of ppl in our class actually watches that show. Damnit nice. X) so jingli was saying that she likes xin. i couldn't really understand her cause she has this really thick American accent and I heard her say like ' I like shin'. I kept going huhh??. Haha. damn me for my silliness and deafness =/ but yea, how can she likes xin, I mean that lu guy or whatsoever his name is, is so much better and cuter! Hehh.
Then went home, walked to redhill, sum keeps saying I was high when I was not, hey look who's talking kay! Loll
Then talked bout lots of things. Just drank a lot at 7-11. didn't eat anth cause GOT NO APPETITE. Thanks to some ppl. Boo.
So banana milk and lemon juice became my lunch. Then a lot funny things happened ler while we were outside 7-11. ok, the funniest was this:
Sum: who are you smsing?
Me: *smiles*
Sum: must be a snr right
Me: *shrugs*
Sum: does that person's name starts with a H, Hanizah?
Me: *shakes head*
Sum: with an F?
Me: *nods*
Sum: with an F? Farrah is it? (wow. Im amazed she knows. Hehh)
Me: yupps! (finally speaking up)
Sum: *starts screaming in a mad and unusual way*
Loll. Ok it might not seem funny or anth here but if you were there yourself, you would know how funny it was. Hee. Jiee (or rather zee videoed it with jiee's phone) and when we looked at it, we laughed so hard man. Hahaha.
Oh! and she videoed the part where I said bout the entertainment part. I think that's funny too. a must watch, recommended by ME! Hahaha. Ok im crapping too much. Teehee.
Ooh. After that was fun! =DD
Me and sum did a little stalking. From the ground level of redhill mrt station all the way to clementi mrt station. Loll.
Ok, the person we were stalking was yunheng. Heehee. (I put it down cause I know only my close friend reads my blog. She wont see this anyways =p)
I started the craze first la, being the usual crazy me.
Obviously she suspected smth! Lol
Cause the train came and jiee and zan and joyce were still going up the escalator. Yh was alr in the train so I quickly went inside but sum kept pulling me out and I kept pulling her back in. omg, the scene was so retarded and funny la. All eyes were on us ok. Malu malu. So much for being stalkers, when its so obvious. Hahahah.
Yh and her friend obviously saw us la. Thank god the other 3 ran and we managed to get into the train! X)
I was damn lucky, get to stand beside yh, when im supp to be the 'stalker'. Hee. She kept looking at us ok I swear cause I kept saying loudly bout stalking and stuff. Like 'Im sucha pro stalker right' and 'you see, im so innocent nobody's gonna suspect anything' and 'wahh, this proves im sucha good stalker man, even jiee doesn't know whats happening when its just RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER EYES!' hahah. (she doesn't know whats the fuss and craziness is all abt) Retarded man. I was being crazy, sorry. Heheh. Oh, she must've caught, err. Those times. Shush. Teehee. Ok, sorry for my craziness agn. Then went home like norm. oh. talked bout really redundant stuff to my mum on the phone, like bout my report book, bout how I think I need a thermometer, getting a new purse, the forms that she has yet to sign and other crap stuff. Hah. Im being very crappy today lah. Ok. And mas is being so retarded, keep asking me why I hate the DISGUSTING GIRLSSSSSSSSSS! Hahah. I just hate them ok, jgn banyak tanye la. Hahaha. Ok bbye. =)

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6:43 AM

Friday, October 20, 2006

hello
i dont feel like talking much now
god knows why
not in the mood i guess
sighhss. everything in this world is so...depressing!
ok, but on the bright side, next tues is hari raya!
not really looking forward to it but yea, its smth we SHOULD be looking forward to. blabla
ok im off. i shall blog more proper posts next time! tralala~

xHANISAHx

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5:53 AM

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I really miss honeybun x(
Im sorry for what happened the other day
The other time I just asked Alyssa if she knew you and all, also told her what you told me, didn't add in stuff, I directly quoted what you said from your sms, gave her a little of your background detail.
And she wanted more enquiries, I just gave her your email, cause I really don't wanna say anth wrong or make any party upset. Then she just jokingly said that you're her stalker. Im sorry, I didn't know what gives her that idea in the first place.
You got angry with me, for giving her your email. Im sorry
But why, you did not even talk to her or anth, you just got angry
The more I tried talking to you, the more you wouldn't listen and the more you got angry, started scolding me. Not just normal scolding, scolding with a lot of stuff that really hurts =(
Im sorry
I shouldn't have said that I really wish you were dead. I didn't mean it. =(
And you shouldn't have cursed Alyssa too, its rude cause she's two years your senior and she didn't even do anth to make you upset in any way. Sigh. I really don't get you, you know. Its obvious you're in a bad mood these past few weeks or so. Im sorry I cant change your mood. Im sorry im not good enough for you to vent off your anger. I chose to talk bout this incident first cause this is the last straw.
You purposely showed frh the sms tt I sent to you bout our plans, or rather MY plans.
Why must you do it? not happy? Can just tell me bout it. I can make a grand one for you on your next bday, buy for you a thousand dresses. See what I mean by, 'I don't get you'. You suggested I bake for her a cake? Hello what you're trying to do. Im really disappointed in you. Thought you're the person I can depend on the most.
Im very very upset now, I dunno particularly over what, just upset. X(
And get this right, I have no feelings or whatsoever crap for Alyssa. She's NOT 'the ite girl that I like'. I just treat her like my sister, the stuff that we say to each other, might seem uh. a bit mushy but no, we're just saying it in a sisterly way. She's nice and she LISTENS. AND she alr has a chi gf, an eurasian fling and a mly date =/ she treats me with respect, she TOTALLY understands and we have common interests (which is so not really like you). That's all. Sometimes, I get kinda upset bout it, cause it makes me keep wishing that she's you. Funny, I just got to know her and I've known you for many times longer but see the weird thing? Sigghhsssss.
Ok im digressing a bit, but I just need to get it off my chest. Its depressing. =(
I've talked so much, im so tired and drained, I alr promised myself never ever to cry over you or anth that you do, but im trying too hard you have no idea how hard it is to control my emotions at this time. So, are you out there? Are you listening? Get this right, noone can replace you. What am I to do now that you're gone? Im sorry but you're no longer to girl I used to know. I feel like im talking to your ghost.
and today, you said smth... i dont even know how to put it
look back, see how much i've done for you over all these while
you cant just leave like that
you're breakin all the promises you made to me
so loongg

APPLES!
6:37 AM

Im currently in love with so many songs, esp smack that! Haha. totally reminds of someone. Sexaye =p. haha
Anyways, feel like recapping
Thurs had sch, did nth much. Hah. Lets see, had uh. Crime talk in the morn. Zan got this cute cute pink thingy with all pink stuff inside! Hah. She gave me like half of it =) how sweet.
Then had interhouse games. I didn't play at all although I was appointed to, for the power ball. Instead, talked to sum about a lot of stuff. Oh, talked bout LOVELESS! Ooh. Haha. so sweet
Then then uh, had recess. And had beauty talk after tt. Lol. Damn funny. And eye care talk or smth. Wasn't really paying attention though.
Anyways, while the talks were going on, I was writing honeybun's name on my thigh. Sum saw and forced zan to help her write nikhil's name on her wrist. Lol. I wrote on my hand and my arm big big, then she don't wanna be lesser than me, wrote nikhil's name big big and boldly on her arm. Loll.
And we were like laughing away at the silliness. Wanted to remove it but realized its somewhat permanent! Haha. in the end had to go to toilet to scrub it.
Then while walking to redhill, sum and I were like reminiscing abt everything. And its so sad it made me wanna cry ='(
Then at 7-11 there I was saying that I wanted to get presents for a few sec4s and they came bursting with ideas. Haha
So, we went to jp to look at the stuff. And they just helped me grab anything nice they see in sight. Haha. I still rmb, how we went round and round the shop, taking stuff and putting it back, taking it back again and all. Hah. So fickle minded ppl. Anyways, they don't sell really much stuff there.
Then yea, took bus home, returned library book and all. Then returned home.
Bleh, don't talk about home, things are getting worse from day to day, mum gets easily angry for no reason. Lets not talk bout her, it makes me so furious to the extent of wanting to really kill her. Boo.

Then fri was funneh. Reached sch like really really early, 6.45. and the early birds were like 'how come you so early today?!' hahah. They were shocked cause everytime I would reach sch only on the dot 7.10. hehh.
Then yea, I just stood there doing nth and jiee, zan and sum were like fussing abt it. hah. Felt so guilty =/
Anyways, it was ok la in the end, not as expected, but still ok considering the time given and the things we had.
Had cultural show in the morn. Was so...WEIRD! Hahah.
Wasn't really paying much attention, my eyes were glued somewhere else, 45 degrees to my right. Loll
Anyways, I don't understand the whole opera thing also
Then had recess and had additional math bridging course. Was ok, everyone slacked so much. Oh, zan got help from Rachel. Hehh. Then err. Had the drug thingy, went home. Thought of watching movie with sum but ohwells, had no mood. Went home, things were still horrible, in fact, it got much worse I broke down like hell. Sighhhs. When is this gonna end

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6:28 AM

Friday, October 13, 2006

i dunno if im supp to be happy, sad or depressed
as usual, just fell out with honeybun agn
man this sucks, i make it sound like its smth that always happen
but ohwells
its true, i cant deny it.
she's been very cranky lately
every little thing i say also she not happy
have to admit she's damnit petty. even alyssa says so =/
see these:
she called me a 'bitch'
then she said this to me 'go fuck off la whose _'(the underscore is a blank, you know what it means)
then she continued 'you not happy come settle face t face ah.i not happy your problem meh.knnbccb'
thats utterly rude ok, scolding me bad words like continuosly for no particular reason =/
she nvr said so much vulgarities(or however you spell it) that to me before =(
then, 'you started it first bitch,anyhow go around give my email.think you what pimp ah.you so coward'
i was super upset with this, that bitch dont even know the truth!
and yea,
i dont wanna continue anymore
its kinda expecting, at times like this, i thought she was the one who would help
but instead, turned her back on me
im so lost. =(
felt better after letting it out to ALYSSA
can you believe it, of all ppl, she understands the most
ohwells, yay. meeting duckling soon x)
bbye, im off to watch loveless <3

APPLES!
6:06 AM

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

haha
talking to alyssa is like so damn funny la
she's two timing her gf!
oh no. wait, its THREE TIMING! haha
and she refused to share with me her mint brownies that her fling baked for her! hmph
haha
ok im off to uh. ahems ahems

APPLES!
6:00 AM

Monday, October 09, 2006

i think i wanna change skin
hah
i feel like blogging today! =))
morn i was feeling very HIGH!
hahaha. what not, double the package, honeybun & sunshine! =D
then yea, lingered behind sunshine while walking to sch
heh. oh. and i in the morn i wanted to pass letter to sunshine
during assembly, so i went up to go to their class la
then i dunno how i got stuck in the middle of this crowd of sec3s trying to get to their class (kartinie was like saying to the sec3s to quickly go to their places mah)
then in the rush, saw xinxin then just asked her pass the letter
man! sunshine's like so gonna know now im her uh. SECRET ADMIRER. haha
anyways, sci paper was ok la
balancing equation thingy was so...crap. haha
anyways, had chi paper
damn it
i even forgot how to write pian yi ! haha. which means, cheap =/
anyways, i didnt even study la who cares le
then oral, was damn funny
i paused so much to think man!
and i dunno how to say a lot of words
like eg,
'wo zui bu xi huan shu xue yin wei wo bu xi huan...(think for more than 30 secs!)...counting?'
HAHA. ms tan was laughing la. but dont think she blames me, she nvr teach one before what
haha. ohoh! after that we went rolling down the back slope. lol. was laughing like mad. so funn! ~
then ya, went home tired and all. hehh
was ok la today, i like =)
end of exams mah! haha
oh!! and for once, i didnt over exceed my bill too much!
my total messages for the month was only 1018! haha
gee, im proud of myself for the improvement =)))
hee. ooh. and outing with siti and gen either tmr or wed! yay!! haha. ok im going retarded. bbye!

APPLES!
5:32 AM

Sunday, October 08, 2006

life is so depressing nowadays
maybe its just the exams and all
now that the misunderstanding has cleared up, i thought i would feel better
but the feeling is still the same =/
sighh
i guess i just have to slowly go through this phase of life
speaking of which, im scared to look forward to next yr
the thought seems to haunt me everyday
where will all my friends go to?
oh, and sec4s are leaving which is very sad
i know i will miss all of them, even those whom i just see around in sch
but yea, whatever it is, when they leave, i had this feeling sch wont be the same anymore

i think im gonna miss HANIZAH
which is kinda obvious if you ask me
i rmb last yr, it was like a blessing to find a friend like her
she tolerated all my nonsense, all my mood swings, all my shit
and sigghh. its just so...sad.
and even if we have many many fights, we would somehow, one way or another, make up.
its kinda sweet. and i cant explain how much she has helped me throughout the err. past year.
great thanks to her, for im sure i am not who i am now if not because of her.gotta admit, we dont really get along perfectly well. but still, i cant explain everything. she rocks my pretty little world.
somehow, she always nvr fails to cheer me up, without even realising it. haha =)
and i feel nice talking to her when im angry, stressed, depressed or pms-y.
oh god, she's lovely. =))))
LOVE YA TRUCKLOADS! <3333333333

and ya, of course FARRAH too.
i definitely wont forget all the wonderful times
if not bcuz of her, i would get to know hnz now
its sweet =)
and its nice to talk to her too, although most of the time she would act as the neutral party.
haha. and she's understanding. yupp =))
hah. ok i dont have much to say, she's very nice all in all =))
LOVE YA TRUCKLOADS TOO! <3333

and QINYA. haha.
funny, lemme relate to an incident back then
ummm. i dont rmb what sparked off the fight in the first place.
oh! just rmb. heh. it was abt the hnz incident.
when i look back now, i would just laugh and smile at the thought of it, when we would try to get into 'unsuccessful' fights and would be staring at each other like mad, ready to knock one another to death. haha. with hb of course
and its so wonderful, how things suddenly changed, when they started making up with each other abruptly. and its amazing i tell you =)
well, at least i know i've achieved smth. haha.
and now, we're just like a normal senior-junior. well, at least thats the most memorable memory i had of her =))) and her little dorses of entertainment too -=))))

ARFAH!
haha. damn, im so gonna miss seeing her at times in the train and when we would go to sch tgt, talk crap and laugh for nth. ahah. i shall definitely miss her advices, her little cutie voice. sighhh.

and and SAM.
though we nvr talk to each other EVER BEFORE in sch, its just the thought of not seeing the familiar face, tgt with PAM and VIVIAN is so....!!#%^
she's a nice girl there and i will definitely miss everything bout her. haha

oh, LYDIA maybe.
heh. kinda funny though, we nvr talk to each other in sch ever before too.
but yea, like sam, im gonna miss the familiar face in sch, tgt with RACHEL'S WHOLE GANG.
ohoh. and how i would pass snide remarks bout them to my friends whenever i pass by them or see them. ahha. its funny.

ohh. MASLIANA =)
damn, im gonna miss her FACE! hahaha. jj
really thankful for her for whatever kinda help she has lend me.
esp in art. hehhh. and for the funny jokes that nvr fails to keep me entertained!

well, i guess thats it? haha. ok, gotta admit i have to go now, got sci and csp exam tmr! sure die one de. ohkay. bbye ppl! =)))

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8:20 AM

Friday, October 06, 2006

found this in my mail, kinda interesting. bold ones are those which i think is true la

MAY
Stubborn and hard-hearted
Strong-willed and highly motivated
Sharp thoughts
Easily angered
Attracts others and loves attention
Deep feelings
Beautiful physically and mentally
Firm standpoint
Easily influenced
Needs no motivation
Easily consoled
Systematic (left brain)
Loves to dream
Strong clairvoyance
Understanding
Sickness usually in the ear and neck
Good imagination
Good debating skills
Good physical
Weak breathing (it runs in the family la. hah)
Loves literature and the arts
Loves travelling
Dislike being at home
Restless
Not having many children
Hardworking
High spirited
Spendthrift

Gemini

Turn ons
Gemini is a highly intellectual and versatile person. If you have a Geminipartner you have to match your wits with his wits to keep the zing in therelation. They want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good inconversing. Your sense of humor will get you a permanent residence place in theheart of a Gemini. Be more communicative with them and if you are good in thisthen you will never know how hours pass by with you holding each other's hand.

Turn offs
Gemini`s like to do many things at the same time so if unfortunately you are thetypes who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back aGemini or you may lose him, as they are restless and need change in lifeconstantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini.Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Changewith the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.

so i decided to check the others, the aries one. -> from my point of view of *

MARCH
Attractive personality
Affectionate
Shy and reserved
Secretive
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
Loves peace and serenity
Sensitive to others
Loves to serve others
Not easily angered
Trustworthy
Appreciative and returns kindness
Observant and assess others
Revengeful
Loves to dream and fantasize
Loves travelling
Loves attention
Hasty decisions in choosing partners
Loves home decors
Musically talented
Loves special things
Moody

Aries

Turn ons
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they have affinity for suchpeople too . You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them.Remember they leave tortoises and snails way behind without even glancing atthem once. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With themyou can be your true self that is no pretenses (but don`t try your luck beingover frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with Ram then you have to showyour enthusiasm in all there activities (you can always yawn later!).

Turn offs
Do not tell an Aries that s/he may be wrong lest you may stir a storm in ateacup. But instead do what you feel is right and of course do not take thecredit for the work done well. Aries people are very faithful and passionatelovers. Do not give air to the smoldering fire within them by making themjealous. No flirtations or fooling around with others in their presence unlessof course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).

i find all these mostly true
esp the one for aries
haha
ohwells
one more paper to go
jia you hanisah!
-screwing up your hist is bad enough to pull your grades down =(

APPLES!
7:20 AM

i have smth i really wanna share
well, my mum just counted
it has been 24 days since my aunt was admitted to the hospital
started when she had a coma because both her kidneys had failed
she has been in come for 2 weeks if im not wrong
that time, the doctors say that chances were very slim that she would be able to pull through
so we waited and waited day by day to see the outcome, or rather, waiting for what was supp to be expected
and and, praise god, she managed to survive through the ordeal =)
but she still has to go for dialysis for the rest of her life. kinda bad.
so see, nth is impossible, miracles do happen.
if there's a will there's a way!

APPLES!
6:37 AM

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

i know i havent been blogging for a darn long time
and tmr's math and lit
but im online.
why?
cause im trying to run away from all the stress thats going on
i dont need an extra burden. damnit
i need my confidence
i need my luck
i need YOU now

come back baby, come back
someone misses you badly
someone's crying over you
please, come back

when you left i lost a part of me
is this so hard to believe
come back baby please
cause we belong together
who am i goin to lean on when times get rough
who's gonna talk to me on the phone till the sun comes out
who's gonna take your place there aint nobody better
oh baby baby, we belong tgt

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5:29 AM

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